Saturday, November 6, 2010

Eight Legged Freaks

I'm a man. A 6'7, big, ugly, hairy, mean (when I want to be) man. I have super powers, one such power is the power of transformation.

I have the ability to transform from a surly dude into a squealing little child at the site of a huntsman spider.

I don't have issue with red backs or white tails or even the common house spider (which looks mean as hell) and especially not daddy longs legs'. But you throw a huntsman into the mix and I'm scared, there I said it SCARED.

Unfortunately in my house everyone is scared of all spiders & bugs so along with disposing of all manner of creepy crawly I'm also charged with dispensing of the big, fast moving brown curses know as..........................................the huntsman spider.

Huntsman Facts:
  • Huntsman's have a life span of approximately 90 years
  • Huntsman's can jump at least 3 meters
  • The venom of the Huntsman spider is powerful enough to knock out a horse. It will not kill the horse, simply tranquilise it for long enough for the huntsman to devour it whole.
  • A Huntsman Spider can devour a horse whole
  • Contrary to popular believe huntsman spiders are actually trained in scare tactics.
  • Huntsman spiders prefer to feed on the eldest born child of any family
  • Huntsman's can be found all over Australia but prefer to reside in OUR FREAKIN HOUSE
  • The ground up remains of a dead huntsman spider can be used as a hallucinogen
  • Huntsman spiders enjoy walking across your face while you sleep
  • Huntsman spiders are faster in the water than they are on land

Here are 2 of some of the suckers encountered in our current house. This first one was above the Toilet, T noticed it while B was sitting there. Can you say freak out?

This one crawled up the wall while Mamma Bare and I were watching a movie, I had to tear the lounge apart to get at it. Note the toys and array of DVD's discovered under the couch

And as if 8 legs wasn't enough what the freakin hell is this thing????

Until next time...........


  1. "Huntsman spiders enjoy walking across your face while you sleep"

    yeah thanks for that...

  2. Thanks to you I am remembering all sorts of spidey memories I was trying to forget LOL.

    I remember once when I was little we were sitting at the table eating tea and a huntsman was on the ceiling, it walked over and stopped directly above me, my parents insisted that it wouldn't/couldn't just drop straight down on my head - so would I just eat my tea already!

    It didn't drop, but one of the eeriest things I have ever seen was a huntsman dropping down from the ceiling not long after we moved here. My parents lied to me!!!!!! Fuckers. (I put a bucket over the top over it till the Jman came home from work a few hours later to rescue me from its scariness hehe)

    Ever seen the movie Arachnophobia? Now there's a real horror movie, I think I saw it when it first came out on video and I still remember parts of it clearly, icky icky.